Dear Santa Paws: Enough With the Drama Already

Labrador dog with Santa hat covering its eyes.
Photo by evastupica on Pixabay

What Is an Old Dog To Do?

You know I don’t complain much. Even when my hips hurt, I still like going on walks with Mom. But it’s been hard to be good this last year.

Daddy got a new job in the summer, which made both of my parents happy. But it took so long to get there when we went to visit him! Three days in the car, and I never did get comfortable. Mom would get mad when I got scared and tried to climb on her lap, then got madder when I’d try to hide by her feet. When we went again (two trips—can you believe it?), she had this thing in between the seats to make me stay in the back. But I finally figured out how to get over it on the way home. I just don’t understand why she doesn’t want to cuddle when I’m scared.

And staying in those places she calls motels is awful. The smells make this old dog crazy. And when I jumped off the bed onto that slick floor, I skidded and almost hit the wall! Mom tried not to laugh, but I could tell. She was still smiling as she checked me out for new aches and pains. What was really hard was all those stairs!

And then she took me to the dog doctor for my itchy ears. I don’t like people messing with my ears! Mom keeps saying the stuff she puts in them is to stop the itching, but I don’t like it AT ALL. Why do humans sometimes make it so hard to be good?

Then some strange men came and made all sorts of banging noises outside. Mom said we were getting a new roof. I stayed in the bedroom, but even under the bed it was loud. So was Mom when she talked to the boss man on the phone. She was scatterbrained and angry-cried for what seemed a long time.

Daddy came home, and that was fun. I like when he’s home, because he always gives me part of his food and Mom won’t. But he got sick and went someplace with lots of doctors, and Mom got all upset again. What’s a gallbladder? Anyway, he’s feeling better. But they both got loud when they put the new sink and countertop in the kitchen. Glad that’s over! I’m still sneezing from the dust.

Mom started a new job. She’s not gone all day like she used to be, but I never know when she’ll be home or when we’ll go for a walk. And now that the weather is getting cooler, walking is getting harder. My front leg is hurting a lot now, so I don’t want to go far. And there are new dogs in the neighborhood. I’m not sure if I want to be friends with some of them or not, especially the puppies that are bigger than I am. Been there, done that; big puppies don’t know how to play nice.

Now it’s almost Christmas, and they’re talking about seeing Uncle Willie at the lake. That means another car ride. Really, Santa Paws, how much is an old dog supposed to take?

So for Christmas, I just want to stay home. Is that too much to ask? And can Daddy find a job close to home so he can be happy and feed me when he’s done eating? And please bring lots of peace and quiet for Mom. That will make all of us happy.

With wagging tail,

P.S. I’ll try not bark when you come by this year. Tell Prancer I’m sorry I scared him.

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